You, my good friend, have just hit the nail on the head. Yes, you should focus on the unconditional, non-toxic love that you can give yourself but also on forgiving the past hurts and experiences inflicted upon you by your parents.
There is nothing stupid with following your dreams, but sometimes our egos will make dreams for us instead of our hearts.
Acknowledge and recognize that there is a bigger battle at play, and it isn’t between your parents and your boyfriend, it’s the battle that your parents both have internally. Self-hatred always projects itself unto others, remember that.
I am so sorry that you were not given loving parents who treat you the way you deserve to be treated. I am truly sorry that you will have to sacrifice your college years and grow up faster than you should have to, I really am. But, through this whole process, just stay positive and believe in yourself and I know that you will succeed.