You, my good friend, have just hit the nail on the head. Yes, you should focus on the unconditional, non-toxic love that you can give yourself but also on forgiving the past hurts and experiences inflicted upon you by your parents.
There is nothing stupid with following your dreams, but sometimes our egos will make dreams for us instead of our hearts.
Acknowledge and recognize that there is a bigger battle at play, and it isn’t between your parents and your boyfriend, it’s the battle that your parents both have internally. Self-hatred always projects itself unto others, remember that.