We like to believe that healing is a linear path, a path where every step we take is one of forgiveness. Forgiveness without the shame, hatred, and anger that we feel over the experience. But, the anger, the hatred, the shame and the sadness we feel is our path to healing, our path to forgiveness.
Healing is a process, one that may not happen overnight. And it’s hard. It’s hard to stare your pain in the face and relive your traumatic experience. It’s hard to think that the people you trusted, cherished and loved betrayed you.
If you were to go into a relationship with him with your eyes wide open, knowing that he would not and could not give you what you needed from a relationship then you would be okay. But would you really be okay if you were settling for an okay relationship, a relationship where you could not be yourself, express yourself and your feelings without being made to feel guilty for feeling the way that you do?