Broken and battered. Trying to pull myself out of this slump, this depression. Feeling so much anger, hatred and a thousand and one unnamable emotions towards the people who stole my innocence. Shame in myself over crying over spilled milk, surprised that the actions of others still have the ability to affect me.
You, my good friend, have just hit the nail on the head. Yes, you should focus on the unconditional, non-toxic love that you can give yourself but also on forgiving the past hurts and experiences inflicted upon you by your parents.
And don’t worry about disgracing your parents. Your parents have disgraced themselves time and time again by how they’ve treated you and the fact that they consciously chose to not teach you your worth. So, there is no way you could ever disgrace your parents more than they have already disgraced themselves and the sanctity of parenthood.