You, my good friend, have just hit the nail on the head. Yes, you should focus on the unconditional, non-toxic love that you can give yourself but also on forgiving the past hurts and experiences inflicted upon you by your parents.
Acknowledge and recognize that there is a bigger battle at play, and it isn’t between your parents and your boyfriend, it’s the battle that your parents both have internally. Self-hatred always projects itself unto others, remember that.
I am so sorry that you were not given loving parents who treat you the way you deserve to be treated. I am truly sorry that you will have to sacrifice your college years and grow up faster than you should have to, I really am. But, through this whole process, just stay positive and believe in yourself and I know that you will succeed.