Going after your goals and working towards the life of your dreams is never selfish. And if anyone would call that selfish would they be the best, most supportive person for you and your goals?
Acknowledge and recognize that there is a bigger battle at play, and it isn’t between your parents and your boyfriend, it’s the battle that your parents both have internally. Self-hatred always projects itself unto others, remember that.
Sometimes we are harder on ourselves and I am telling you right now, stop that. It is okay to be a novice, we all were at one point, but we all learn, grow and evolve.
And don’t worry about disgracing your parents. Your parents have disgraced themselves time and time again by how they’ve treated you and the fact that they consciously chose to not teach you your worth. So, there is no way you could ever disgrace your parents more than they have already disgraced themselves and the sanctity of parenthood.