This is a very good question and I have actually toyed around with it for years. I come from a long line of women who accept that their men cheat and who turn a blind eye and I have always pondered on why they did it. Why they stayed, why they subjected themselves, as well as their children, to the disrespect and to such a very traumatic, toxic environment.
And I have come to the conclusion that some women do not recognize their worth. Some women believe they are not worthy of respect, a true partnership or unconditional love. And they believe that all that is offered is the best they will ever get or experience. So, they stay.
But also, maybe the kind of “love”, and I use that term loosely, that is being offered is all that they have ever known. I know that was the case with my mom. She grew up in a very toxic, violent, unloving, depressing environment and her relationship with my dad was not any better. During the course of their 20+ year relationship, my dad cheated multiple times and had multiple children with other women but still, my mom stayed.
And because of her life experiences, she believed that love consisted of drama, disrespect, and toxicity so, she gravitated towards a man who put his own needs above her own and disrespected her on a daily basis.
But also, if one suffers from a lack of self-love for themselves, of course, they won’t be able to spot an unconditional, respectful love and all of the components it consists of. I always believed that if someone truly loved themselves, then they wouldn’t subject themselves to disrespect as well as stay in a relationship that is toxic.
Usually, those of us that respect ourselves and truly love ourselves know that our time, energy and effort is precious, so we won’t just give it away to anyone. We acknowledge that it’s a privilege, not a right, to walk with us on our journeys through life and we have no problem ending someone’s journey with us whenever we feel their time has come to an end.
But also, think about the culture we live in. Most women are brought up to be second class citizens, to think that they are lesser than or that they can’t or shouldn’t accomplish as much as men do. That men are stronger and smarter and that they can accomplish anything and that we women have a certain distinguishable role to play.
A role in which we can’t do what men do, our value is lesser than and that our main goal in life is to get married, get chosen by a man who will provide for us, as if we can’t provide for ourselves, and produce babies. And It’s been this way for centuries.
And subconsciously, we believed all that was told to us. We believed that our worth and value were based upon our looks, whether or not we could land a quality husband, and have children. We believed that our worth and self-esteem were based upon our accomplishments, material pursuits and what men thought of us.
But also, we believed that we were unworthy if we weren’t in a relationship and married. We were taught to seek our worth from men. Even if the men were not good men who did not treat us with the love and respect we deserved.
So of course, some women suffer from a lack of self-love and low self-esteem. But all because we were told what our worth was and how it was defined, does not mean that we have to believe it. So, I believe that the women that turn a blind eye to their partners’ infidelities is because they haven’t found their power yet.
They have not recognized that they are Divine limitless beings that do not have buy into what society preaches. And ultimately, I believe that is all it comes down to. A lack of self-love and self-esteem and not owning their own power. Because when we don’t own our power, we give it away and when women choose to stay in unhappy relationships in which infidelity occurs, they are in fact giving away their power as well as their light.
But, what do you think? Why do some women stay in disrespectful, unhappy relationships? For material gain? Because they feel pressure from their families? Pressured by society? For their children? Who really knows, the only people that truly can answer these questions are those women that stay. But, from my own life experience, seeing my matrilineal line turn a blind eye to their partners’ infidelities, my answer is a lack of self-love, self-esteem and not owning their worth.
And the theoretical reasons above for why one might stay, the pressure from society and their families, for their children or material gain, all resonate with a lack of self-love and self-esteem and the inability for one to claim one’s own power.
So, I truly hope you have gained some much-needed insight and clarity regarding your questions and their answers. And I hope that you, like all spiritual beings, stand in their truth and own their power, every day, each and every way.