That is such a great question! And I am so very proud of you for acknowledging that there is a problem in how you react in situations and that you are now working to find a solution. And when one desires to take ownership of their actions, they must first figure out what actions need to be changed.
The actions one might want to change could be getting angry whenever something does not go your way. Or getting upset whenever you hear bad news. Or even boasting and being led by your ego whenever you hear good news or when you accomplish something great. The actions could be any actions that do not come from a place of love towards yourself or others.
And the first step towards being conscious of your actions is recognizing how your actions make you feel, and whether they feed and nourish your soul or feed and nourish the ego. But also, how your actions are affecting others. Personally, I believe this is the hardest step.
Having to be cognizant and face the realization that sometimes we aren’t nice people, to others as well as to ourselves, can be very upsetting, and this first step requires you to do just that. And it is very hard to acknowledge that sometimes we aren’t so loving towards ourselves and others.
Now with all that being said, to begin the first step, start with setting your intention every morning. Your intention could be to recognize the thoughts that you have toward yourself and notice how you react or respond in your day to day occurrences.
I believe that if you are able to recognize how negative your actions are towards yourself first, rather than focusing on how your actions are affecting others, it will help you take accountability as well as help you see how you’ve been projecting your feelings about yourself onto others and how truly critical you are of yourself.
Once you do this, the reasons for why you do what you do or say what you say will start to unravel and come forth. Usually, at this step, people acknowledge and recognize the true feelings they have about themselves. Sometimes feelings that can be and are quite harsh. As well as feelings about others that are based upon how we view ourselves that actually have nothing to do with others.
And this is such an eye-opening step and experience because it is truly showing us how we have been allowing our negative feelings to lead us. But also, it is showing us how we truly feel about ourselves deep down. And when it comes down to it, our actions are ALWAYS based upon our feelings, our inner child’s feelings, and our experiences in our upbringings.
And while we are reassessing our actions and how we view ourselves, we should be doing it from a neutral place of love. And I mention neutrality of love because when we recognize how negative our actions have been, we usually feel so much shame, inner-hatred and remorse, and those feelings never do us any good.
They almost always make us feel worse about the situation, ourselves and our actions. So, whenever the self-hatred, shame, and remorse pop up, view it all from an acknowledging place of love. And continue to view your actions and thoughts from a grounded state of peace as well as from a place of acceptance.
Now, before going any further, I do want to acknowledge that hurting the feelings of others is inevitable, but there are cases where we can be asses, just for the sake of being an ass. And taking ownership of our actions will allow us to be less ass-like.
And again, those cases usually stem from our own feelings, the feelings of our inner child and from our childhood memories. And us delving into those feelings and memories will put us on the path to healing, which can and will help us change our actions, which would be us taking ownership of our actions.
And once we grasp how our actions have been affecting ourselves and what actions we’ve been making, we focus on the next step. And that step involves changing the narrative. And what I mean by that is instead of choosing to see situations, experiences, people and thoughts as black and white, try to see the good in everything.
I know it sounds easier said than done, but when we choose to see the good in every person, experience, and thought, we are able to respond in a manner that allows us to take ownership and to be proud of our actions. Thus, being proud of ourselves.
Now, I know this may seem like a lot and that it is such a long answer for such a short question, but the journey to taking ownership and reprogramming our actions and thoughts is a continuous one. And I say that because when we reprogram our minds the task usually includes a lot of trial and error, and that is okay. We just have to continue focusing on putting our best foot forward and not giving up.
Now, I hope this advice has been helpful and that you will begin embarking upon the journey of taking ownership of your actions and of course changing those actions that aren’t so loving. I wish you so much happiness, joy, and love as you embark upon this new chapter. And stop back into DearSpence.com and let us know how you’re doing! Wishing you the best!