“So, I’ve been on the Whisper app a lot lately…”

So, I’ve been on the Whisper app a lot lately, promoting my site. And all I see are people looking to hook up or people that are depressed, suicidal and feeling that no one cares about them or loves them. So, my question is, although these two groups of people are at adverse ends of the spectrum, do they not have more in common than what meets the eye? Follow me for a moment.

See you have the first group of people looking for a relatively good time, probably looking to numb out life’s woes, quiet their hurried thoughts and to forget. Possibly even looking to have a connection with someone, even if the connection isn’t a lasting one. Then we have our second group of individuals who feel alone, unheard and unseen by the world and their loved ones.

Both groups are looking to be acknowledged. And both groups are looking to take up space, to feel whole and to feel and know that they exist and that they are worthy of existing. And from my own personal experiences and my experience interacting with others and walking with and supporting them through their journeys in life, I have found that there is one common denominator.

And that one shared component is our search for validation, acceptance, worthiness, and love from others. From someone or something outside of ourselves. Truly loving yourself and accepting yourself as you are and where you are on your journey through life is the magical key to living a wishes fulfilled, life-worth-living life.

It’s not about receiving acceptance from society, from your parents, from your school or your significant other. It’s about loving yourself no matter who is walking with you or what is presently occurring in your life. It’s about having that rock-solid foundation planted sturdily within yourself!

And I know what you’re thinking. Self-confidence and self-acceptance alone aren’t the cure for depression or suicidal thoughts. But I think, “why isn’t it”? As someone who has been depressed many times and who has contemplated suicide many times, if I had more confidence within myself and my abilities, I honestly would have been able to dig myself out of the emotional and mental hole I was in before it got to the point of planning my suicides. 

But don’t get me wrong. I am a big advocate of therapy and having others help us learn and utilize the tools within ourselves to respond in the face of adversity and to heal, reflect and forgive. But I believe therapy is for a season, not a lifetime.

Meaning that once you recognize how your actions are shaping your perceptions and your reality, and you learn the tools and can tap into the power within, then there isn’t a need, anymore, for therapy or for someone outside of yourself to guide you through your journey in life. 

Therapy is here to help us recognize the power within and the power we hold and to help us acknowledge that all the experiences we dislike about our lives are actually situations that we’ve created for ourselves.

Situations that have required us to learn lessons that have helped us grow and evolve and be the best version of ourselves that we always were. And true happiness and joy are states of mind. States of mind that only those that truly love themselves and accept themselves unconditionally get to experience.

And when we seek validation, worthiness, and acceptance from others we are giving our joy and our happiness away to others. And we give it away by basing our joy and happiness on how others perceive us and treat us, not on the love we have for ourselves or the love we give ourselves.

And it’s sad to see others so unfulfilled, so scared and lonely, searching for something outside of themselves that would make them feel better. Not knowing or recognizing that all they need is located within.

And this post isn’t marketed to make others feel bad about their choices. I like to think of it as a wakeup call. A wake-up call to put an end to feeling as if life just happens to us. That our experiences just happen. Or that we aren’t in charge of our perceptions and whether or not we respond or react in the face of adversity.

Life is all about change. That is the only thing that is truly constant. And being secure in who we are, our actions and the steps we are taking allows us to adapt to those changes from a place of confidence, love, and trust. Trust within ourselves, the Universe and the Divine.

So, to all those out there in Whisper land, cyberspace, and the world, YOU MATTER, and YOU ARE POWERFUL! Don’t give your power away to others. Wake up, stop sleeping, and choose to lead a wishes fulfilled life that enhances your joy and is authentically you.

Choose to work through your traumas, your past and your mental and emotional blocks. Prepare yourself for a journey of a lifetime. A long and treacherous journey that holds the SWEETEST reward!

The reward of truly loving all of yourself. The past, the present and your amazing future. Choose to love and acknowledge yourself now instead of hoping and looking for others to. And choose peace.

And remember that when the world gets too dark, there’s a safe haven/safe space here at DearSpence free from judgments, ridicule, and shame.