Anonymous: I am five months pregnant with my first child and this significant life change is causing me to think about my life and the direction I wish for it to go. With that being said, it got me thinking, can your passion be a person?
Since I was little, I have always had a passion to be a stay at home mom, but my friends are trying to talk me out of it. They think I should have something outside of my husband and kid, but all I really want is to just be a mommy. So, can your passion be a person or people?
That is such a great question but one that is also a double-edged sword. In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom. Some people like it and some people don’t, it’s a personal preference. Now, with that being said, I would like to broach the topic of passions.
If your passion is a person, or people, in your instance your child, what would you do and what would be your passion once they grew up, left the house and began embarking upon their own life journey? I like to believe that if something is truly your passion it grows with you and evolves over time.
Now, I do believe that one of your purposes could be being a mom, but why do you have to have just one purpose? You are most likely a nurturer so you like making people feel protected and loved, well another way your passion could manifest itself would be volunteering your time and helping others.
I just don’t want you to give your all to your child and for you to not have anything left to give yourself. Ultimately, I don’t think it’s a good idea to deplete yourself in order to give to someone else. But also, I fear that you would lose who you are because you are so entwined in the notion of being identified as a mom, if that makes sense.
Although we have passions, we aren’t defined by our passions or what we do. I like to think that we are undefinable because when we define things we label them and put them in boxes. And I don’t believe in living in boxes. Life is meant to be enjoyed and explored and you can’t do that from a box.
As I’ve said, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be a stay at home mom, but you can always wear more than one hat and have more than one outlet for your passion. But also, I don’t want you to receive your worth or to seek validation from a title or from you putting yourself in a box and just staying in that one box.
It’s okay to have more than one purpose and more than one passion. It’s okay to lead a life where you have multiple purposes and multiple passions. For some reason, we like to believe that we can’t wear multiple hats or have multiple experiences simultaneously that make us happy, but we can!
And there is nothing wrong with your child being one of those experiences that make you happy, but with all of life, there are always many opportunities, avenues, doors, and windows that open to us that lead us to more passions and us redefining and expanding our purpose.
My own passion has led me to a place in life to where I see myself with multiple hats. Hats that all deal with my life purpose of loving myself, being loving to others and helping others to love themselves, and one of those hats is being a mom, but that’s not the only hat I am choosing or destined to wear.
There is nothing wrong with one of your passions or purposes being a mom, I believe it’s one of mine as well, but I do have other passions and purposes that will allow me to give back, help others and be my authentic self.
There is nothing wrong with having a passion or a purpose to help others, but passions are to enhance our being-ness, our authenticity and the love we have for ourselves. Passions allow us to be true to ourselves, and it just so happens that you being a stay at home is allowing you to do just that. But, now this may be a little triggering for some, what would you say if someone said their passion was a particular person? Be honest!
Because you phrased it the way that you did, it does come across as very cringeworthy, almost as if you are living for someone else. But I understand where you are coming from and what you mean. Your purpose is to be a mom, to nurture and love the little lovable beings that chose you to be their mom, and there is nothing wrong with that.
So, recap, there is nothing wrong with your passion of being a stay at home, but you are not and never will be defined by it. Do not put yourself in a box! Also, you can have more than one outlet for your passion as well as more than one purpose in life.
And your friends raise a very great point, you should have something outside of your husband and kid. It can be anything that enhances your happiness but also feeds your soul and your authenticity.
So, being a stay at home mom, a great mom, and nurturing the heart, soul, and minds of the beautiful beings that will call you mom is one of your life purposes and passions. Now that you know and acknowledge one part of yourself through one of your life purposes, your journey can begin to find and reawaken other parts of yourself and your other purposes in life.
And I wish you well as you embark upon the journey of motherhood and self-knowledge. Congratulations on your bundle of joy! Wishing you both great health and happiness.