Going after your goals and working towards the life of your dreams is never selfish. And if anyone would call that selfish would they be the best, most supportive person for you and your goals?
Acknowledge and recognize that there is a bigger battle at play, and it isn’t between your parents and your boyfriend, it’s the battle that your parents both have internally. Self-hatred always projects itself unto others, remember that.
People lose themselves in relationships every day and it is always because they desire to be loved, but they never seem to come to the conclusion that all the love that they could ever truly need or want comes from within.