Anonymous: In order for me to feel good about myself I hire escorts and frequent massage parlors. But afterwards I always feel so bad about the amount of money I spend. I honestly feel that the only way someone will like me is if I pay them and I’m way too ugly to meet women the old-fashioned way. My self-esteem is shot, and I feel that I’ll never be good enough. How can I change my actions and my mindset?
I am so sorry you have such a distorted view of the beautiful, amazing being that you are. We all go through periods of not feeling enough, whether it’s being not smart enough or not pretty enough, so just know that you’re not alone. And the first thing you can do to change your mindset is to stop the negative self-talk.
At first it may be very hard to stop the negative self-talk and the thoughts of doubt, but just continue trying and soon you’ll come to a place to where you recognize the negative paths your thoughts are taking, and you change it to a positive one. I know from experience how difficult it may be to do this, but in time it does get easier and you really do begin to believe in the positive thoughts you have about yourself.
And stop spending money on escorts, it only just makes you more sad, depressed and lonely. It’s kind of like comfort food. You feel bad about life or yourself, so you start to eat. And once you are done eating whatever you were eating, you feel so full of self-loathing and hate. So, that self-loathing stops today! No more escorts!
And you’re not ugly! You just have to build up your self-esteem. And one way to do that is working out. As well as offering you clarity it will help you build up your confidence and allow you a moment of self-care and self-relaxation. Next, every morning stand in the mirror and name three attributes that you love about yourself. They can pertain to your personality or looks. Now, since, for some reason you believe you’re ugly, I will say that 2 of the attributes have to be about your looks.
And as of now, just focus on trying to love yourself and acknowledging the parts of yourself that you don’t particularly like. This will allow you to walk upon the journey of self-discovery and self-love and will help you to love the person standing in front of you. Don’t worry about being enough for others, just worry about being more than enough for yourself. And I wish you all the best on your journey and just know that I’m rooting for you!