People say that life will get better, but it’s been years and it seems as if my life has just gotten worse. I want to just end it all, but the only thing holding me back is the guilt of me hurting those closest to me. I’m so drained mentally and emotionally. I’m so ready to die but I don’t know how to say goodbye to everyone. At this point, I don’t want help to live, I don’t want to try, I just want it all to end.
Honestly, I’m not quite sure what to say. I’m sorry you feel that the only positive alternative for you is suicide. I’ve been in your shoes, very recently might I add, so I know exactly how you feel. You just want the pain to go away. You just want life to go your way, just once. You want a life that represents you as the amazing being that you are.
And all you want is just peace. Peace within yourself and for your life to be free from adversities and disappointments. I completely understand where you are coming from. But maybe, just maybe, your life has gotten better and you are just too depressed to see it. I know that’s how it was for me and how it still is. I was choosing to focus on the negative instead of the positive. And although it may seem as if nothing has changed and as if you are going around and around, maybe you are growing internally which could be preparing you for the abundance and joyful times that are near.
Have you reached out for help with a counselor? They can always help you work through your feelings and what you are experiencing. I know you say you just want to end it all, but you don’t, not truly. And do you know why I know that? Because you reached out for help on an advice blog because you wanted someone to acknowledge you, to accept you, to be there for you and say, “I see you, I accept you and I love you”, and guess what? I am that person. I don’t even know you, but I LOVE YOU, and I’m walking with you on your journey.
As a spiritual being I like to believe that we are all connected. Which means that when you hurt, I hurt. When you are sad, I’m sad. So right now, I’m asking you, will you allow me to sit with you as you experience what you are experiencing? Will you allow me to walk your journey with you? I know it’s a hard journey, but journeys always seem better when you have someone pushing you on and jumping those hurdles with you. So, will you let me be that person and jump those hurdles with you?
Again, I urge you to reach out for help! You are not alone and I urge you to get out of your head! Please, reach out to a licensed professional or contact the suicide hotline at 1-800-273-8255. A year from now, whenever you look back, you are going to be so happy that you chose not to end your beautiful life.
And the only person that can save you is you, but I would be more than happy to walk with you as you save yourself! And always remember, the Creator gave us the full range of emotions for a reason. We are supposed to experience pain, sadness, anger, happiness and joy and all of the in between. But we are the ones that have to bounce back, acknowledge what we’ve experienced and continue on. I wish you the best and I really hope that you reach out to a licensed professional. And just know that you are loved, that you are lovable, that you are love and that I LOVE YOU! Wishing you the best!