Anonymous: I’ve been with my boyfriend for 8 months and I really do care a lot about him and our relationship but being in a relationship is all new to me. My boyfriend is the most selfless person and he always gives and gives, he never takes, and he never asks me to do anything for him. When it comes to being in a relationship, I don’t know what to do or how to act. When it comes to physical intimacy, I don’t know what to do or how to initiate it. I’m so shy and scared of doing something wrong. I know my boyfriend wants the best for me, but I’m truly lost here.
I am happy you have found someone you can be vulnerable with! It feels amazing to be able to let your walls down and just be with someone who accepts all of you. And you are in new territory so of course, you are fearful, and a little apprehensive, about how to be loving towards your boyfriend. Have you sat him down and discussed each other’s love languages? That is a good way to know what he is receptive to and what actions to take to show him how much you care for him.
But also, have you discussed with him what you both want out of this relationship and from each other? It is a great idea to do this because it allows you to know your partner better, but it also helps you to see if you guys are compatible and whether or not the both of you are on the same page. And when it comes to physical intimacy, just have fun with it. It is okay if it is awkward in the beginning. Just laugh at yourself! But try and put yourself out there, you initiate first. It’s okay to be getting physically intimate and make a blunder, just laugh at yourself and I guarantee you the both of you will be laughing at the situation together and creating a positive, funny memory at the same time.
And you are way too hard on yourself! Your boyfriend knows this is an adjustment for you and he is not being hard on you. Sometimes we are harder on ourselves and I am telling you right now, stop that. It is okay to be a novice, we all were at one point, but we all learn, grow and evolve. Just continue trying and communicating with your boyfriend. Months from now, you will be a pro at showing your love towards your boyfriend and initiating physical intimacy. So, calm down, take a breath, try, and communicate.