I uprooted and changed my entire life for a guy. I moved 6 hours away from my hometown for him and got 2 jobs to support myself and him while he’s in medical school. I thought this was what we both wanted and that I was supporting him and his dream. But he just broke up with me, despite all the times he said he wanted to marry me and on top of all that he’s saying that I have “emotional problems”. I feel so empty and lost.
Okay, you say you uprooted your life and went out of your way for a guy, but did you? You uprooted your life and made those life changes because you wanted to, no one made you. And I’m sorry the relationship has not turned out the way that you wanted it to but try to see an opportunity in this challenge.
It seems that you were giving more to the relationship than he was, and it also seems as if you were looking for him to validate your worth and existence as a being. Do you think those 2 things have any bearings on your life? I understand you’re going through a tough break up, you thought you were going to marry this guy, but someone not loving you, seeing you for you and acknowledging the kick ass person that you are should not make you feel empty or view your worth in a negative light.
At the end of the day you will always have you and always love you. And I don’t know what he means when he says you have emotional problems, but I do think you have a self-esteem problem. It seems in this relationship you thought if you were to give and give that this guy would accept you but were you the only one giving. You thought that this guy could fill your love tank but the only person that can do that is you. No matter if someone loves you, if you don’t love yourself you have nothing!
It seems that the opportunity in this experience is for you to maybe love all of yourself. All of the parts you have hidden from yourself, the parts you dislike about yourself. You were giving away your power when you were trying to earn this guy’s love and acceptance. Again, every time you gave up more of yourself for him, and his dreams and his goals, you were destroying a little piece of yourself, bit by bit. So, try to see the good in this experience. He obviously did not love you and wasn’t right for you. Now you have space in your life for the right person to come along. But in the interim, focus on your self-esteem and loving yourself. People are meant to enhance our happiness not BE our happiness.