Anonymous: Am I needy or is he an ass?
So, because there isn’t much information to go off of, I will try to look at both perspectives. So, is he an ass? I don’t know. But the fact that you are resorting to name calling signifies to me that you aren’t happy with the direction your relationship is taking and you are not happy with the actions of your boyfriend. Does this sound right?
It sounds as if you aren’t in a healthy relationship. You both resort to name calling, he calls you needy and you call him an ass. And you called him an ass to a stranger, albeit I don’t know who you are, but I can just imagine what you call him to his face. It seems that you might be in a toxic, unhealthy relationship.
From my personal experience, people that call other people needy do that because they aren’t able to give you what you desire, they just can’t, so instead of acknowledging that, they choose to turn it around on you and blame you for their shortcomings. Of course, I don’t know you guys’ situation, but sit with that and see if it holds any weight in regard to your boyfriend and the relationship.
Now are you needy? I don’t know but it seems as if there isn’t any GOOD communication between you and your boyfriend. And it seems as if both parties are not being heard. It seems that you and your boyfriend both want more from each other, but instead of discussing how you feel and how each other’s’ actions are affecting you, you both resort to name calling and a fight probably ensues, right?
In the beginning of the relationship did you sit down with your partner and discuss what each individual was looking to get out of the relationship? Did you discuss what you wanted in a partner? Did you discuss your pet peeves and triggers in a partner? Probably not because most people don’t. So, maybe you could sit him down and ask these questions now. The answer to these questions will give you guys both clarity and with help you all figure out your next steps.
But I do have to say that name calling will not get you anywhere. It does nothing to resolve the situation and it actually makes things worse. Try having a discussion with your boyfriend and see if you both wish to try working on yourselves and the relationship. I wish you both luck and I hope everything turns out the way you want it to.