The courage it takes to open up about this experience is immense. Instead of letting the past define you or hold you back you are deciding to look it in the face.
Have a discussion with them about how you feel, how the friendship is taking a toll on you and how the friendship is affecting you negatively.
Living for others and creating your life around the notion that doing what others think is best for you, rather than what you know to be true and best for yourself, is a recipe for disaster.
Sometimes we are harder on ourselves and I am telling you right now, stop that. It is okay to be a novice, we all were at one point, but we all learn, grow and evolve.