Anonymous: I feel as if I don’t appreciate my family. They’re very negative and I feel uneasy around them and on top of that we always have a different view of things. My family just doesn’t understand me. When it comes down to it, my family is not the people that I would share my experiences or issues with. Honestly, I want to ignore them and be by myself. Family is seen as the most important thing in life and that it’s all we have, but I just don’t see it that way. I feel bad that I’m not attached to my family but it’s how I feel.
Why do you believe that the problem lies with you? Have you thought that you maybe feel the way you do about your family and towards your family because of their actions towards you? It’s okay to have differing opinions and viewpoints from the ones we love but one always has to respect the opinions of others and it seems that maybe, your family chooses not to accept you and your ideologies.
Although we may not understand the people we love we can always accept them and love them the way they are, without having a need to change them. It seems that the problem stems from the fact that your family doesn’t try to understand you, let alone accept the fact that you and they are different. And that there isn’t anything wrong with different, that different is actually good. It looks as if your family wants you to change and be something and someone you’re not in order to make them feel good about themselves and the fact that they aren’t like you.
As someone whose family did the same thing, I feel for you! My family always tried to make me feel lesser than because I wanted more out of life and more for myself. They always saw me as looking down upon them, but I don’t actually think I was. I just knew that their path wasn’t my path and that my path wasn’t there path. And I was okay with that. But the problems arose when they believed their bullying tactics and vitriol would sway me to change who I was and what I stood for. They saw it as an affront to them and there way of life that I chose a different path. Does this sound at all familiar?
It’s okay to not be attached to your family. Not everyone is born with a family that accepts them and sees them for them. And your feelings are completely valid, you feel the way you do for a reason. Your family’s’ actions have consequences, and one of those consequences is the disconnect between you and them.
I hope you take away from this that there’s nothing wrong with you and that you aren’t the problem! And I hope you feel supported and validated from what I’m telling you. It’s okay to not feel connected to your family. There’s a gigantic world out there filled with people who will love and accept you as you are. Your forever family, the ones you choose, the ones that will ALWAYS accept you, are out there, waiting for you.