Guy I was seeing severely broke my heart a few months ago last year and completely screwed me over mentally and left me for someone else and didn’t treat me very well. We were never 100% official either.
I accidentally matched one of his friends on a dating site yesterday and the friend approached me and messaged me. I know he’ll probably tell his friend, should I feel bad about that? This guy ruined my life for a good amount of time and his friend approached me.
I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been going through a really tough time but I am proud of you for trying to get to the other side of this experience. And I’m happy that you recognized that you deserved better and that his actions were not what you desired from a truly loving partner. But it seems as if you were reading more into the relationship than what he was. You said that you all weren’t 100% official, so what were you all?
Were you all just casually dating or casually hooking up? Did you both discuss what each person was looking for in the relationship as well as what you all expected the relationship to be? Not to be harsh, but was this even a relationship? It sounds as if it might have been a hook up or a casual sexual dalliance.
And he fact that the friend reached out is giving me red flags. And I say that because do you really think that the friend didn’t reach out to your ex and get his permission? Your ex probably told him to go for it and that it wouldn’t bother him because he wasn’t into you or truly invested in the relationship. And I am not trying to be harsh, but do you really think this guy will risk his friendship with your ex over you? And from my personal experience, of being friends with a lot of guys, guys don’t care whether someone they’ve had sex with, and I’m guessing you did have sex with him, excuse me if I’m wrong, begins to talk to one of their boys. This guy may have ulterior motives, I personally believe he does, but he may actually want to forge a relationship with you.
And why are you still worried, focus and obsessing over this guy? Do you believe he’s worrying and obsessing over you? Stop putting time, energy and effort into someone who is not putting time, energy and effort into you. And have you thought about remaining single, building up your self-confidence and focusing on your mental health? And do you honestly like this guy, or do you see this as a way to get back at your ex? Stop focusing on seeking love and attention from others and just focus on yourself.
Focus on being healthy mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially and truly loving and accepting yourself because if you did, there is no way you would have gotten yourself involved with your ex and you most likely be paying his friend dust. Ultimately do what you feel is best, but it sounds as if there’s some inner work that can be done on your part. Go within, focus on loving yourself and try to be happy without needing anyone to determine your worth.