I feel like I’m a bad person. I’ve done a lot of things and have said a lot of things that I now feel really, really bad about. But, I do know and recognize that my actions were wrong and I have learned from those experiences. However, I feel that no matter what I do or how good of a person I am now, I’m just not one.
I feel as if I come across as bitchy and I feel that what I’ve done in the past still makes me a bad person to this day. I’ve apologized to everyone I have hurt, but I feel as if they still label me as a bad person. I don’t want to be thought of as being a bad person, and I definitely don’t want to be one.
Being good and bad is subjective, it just depends on whose eyes the actions are been seen through. For example, my dad was and is abusive, every type of abuse you could imagine. But, to people outside of his family, he is so funny, charming and extremely helpful. So when it comes to good and bad I feel as if we are both and can be both, depending on who you ask.
First thing, your past is your past and it’s your past for a reason. Your past helps you grow, evolve and become the person you always were and always wanted to be, a good person. You’re not defined by your past, none of us are. And you have to stop carrying your past around with you. It’s your past for a reason!
And second, who cares if someone chooses to judge you for the person you were and not who you are now. But also, if someone will judge you for reacting and responding the best way you knew how, at that point in time, you don’t need them or their judgement. Try to focus on the present instead of looking back. And choose to see yourself as a beautiful, spiritual being that is evolving and will continue to evolve into the awesome awe-inspiring person they were always meant to be.
And kudos to you for seeing what was wrong with your life and for actually choosing to change, grow, and evolve. That doesn’t sound like a bad person to me. It sounds like a person who was lost for a moment but has now found their way. There’s nothing wrong with having a past or past experiences that you don’t like because it shows that you have grown and improved as a spiritual being. Don’t beat yourself and continue to remain in the present to create an even brighter tomorrow.