Forget the time when they made you feel stupid and focus on all they want to give you now. Or never forget what they did, how stupid and worthless you felt. You deserve better even if you feel they are changed. What would you say?
I would say forgiveness is about you and not about them.Forgiveness is you sitting with all your pain and anger and working throughthat pain and anger. Forgiveness would be making peace with what happened andhow you felt about what happened so forgive for yourself and forgive yourselffor staying as long as you did.
Now, moving on, in my opinion you should never forget, butmove on and forgive. Retain what you learned from the course of thisrelationship, the experiences that taught you and showed you where you weren’tloving yourself and move forward, don’t look back but also don’t forget whereyou weren’t loving yourself and where you were putting the needs of othersabove your own.
But also, do you wish to be in a relationship where theother person receives delight from making you fell lesser than? People willmake others feel stupid because they feel stupid and insecure. Because theydeem you to be on a higher level than them. Thus them making you feel stupidand worthless was an attempt to elevate themselves and add value to themselveswhile trying to devalue you.
But, I do believe people can change, but I rarely believethey do. It’s just, will you be able to laugh with them, joke with them, andshare your secrets with them without being on edge and expecting to be verballyabused or talked down to? As I’ve said, you can forgive and move on, but Ithink its best, for right now, for you to heal and walk your journey withoutthis person.
Focus on loving yourself, healing and rebuilding yourself-esteem. Your self-esteem have had to taken a beating after trusting in someonefor them to turn around and make you feel stupid and worthless. But on theother hand, why would you give your power away and allow yourself to be treatedin this manner? You were giving your power away whenever you turned a blind eyeto how they made you feel, and what they said and their actions towards you inorder to make you feel worthless and stupid.
So, now we’re full circle with you claiming your power andthis person wanting back into your life. It’s your decision but I feel as ifyou’ve learned and taken so much from this experience that it’s not reallypertinent to go backwards. That door has closed and that chapter has ended.Just focus on yourself loving yourself and building your self-esteem and moveforward in your life and on your journey.