My boyfriend needs more from me than I am able to give him. I value my alone time and privacy so much, but my boyfriend just doesn’t understand, and I don’t think I’m able to give anymore. What should I do?
Do you truly believe that the problem is that you aren’t able to give all of yourself to your boyfriend? Or is the problem that your boyfriend doesn’t value your alone time and your personal space? There’s nothing wrong with wanting your alone time and expecting to have your alone time. An individual’s alone time is a time to regroup, center oneself and dive into one’s personal thoughts and feelings. Alone time is a form of self-care that allows an individual to take stock of who they are, where they are, and where they are headed in life.
And it’s okay if your boyfriend doesn’t understand your need to regroup and center yourself, but he should respect your boundaries. Why doesn’t your boyfriend value his alone time and privacy? If you truly love your boyfriend and want and see a future with him, just sit him down and explain why your alone time and privacy is so important and explain to him that it’s a boundary for you. If he can’t accept that then he can’t accept you.
And don’t worry, you will find people who value your alone time and privacy as much as they value their own alone time and privacy. And I do find it a little disconcerting that your boyfriend doesn’t value alone time. Why doesn’t he wish to be alone with his thoughts and feelings? It’s healthy to have a balance in life, of being secure in walking alone but also being okay and grateful enough to have someone there walking with you. As I’ve said, it’s just a balance and you just have to find that right balance with your boyfriend. Once again, try sharing with your boyfriend how you’re feeling and if he can’t accept that then he can’t accept it. There are many people out in the world who will.