I’m 28 years old, and I still live with my parents. My life hasn’t been the most conventional, and I have struggled for many years. Last year I met a guy while I was continuing my education. The relationship was very intense, and I kept it a secret from my family.
Long story short, some bad things happened and my family found out. The relationship and the entire experience were a disaster. My family thinks that I have stopped all communication, but last month I went back to him. I am now pregnant, and I don’t know how to tell my parents. Am I crazy? I went right back to the guy they told me not to!
If you can’t even be honest with your parents, why are you having a baby? You’re not even adult enough to tell your parents your truth, your authentic truth that you were still dealing with this man, but you expect to have a baby and take care of it? I don’t mean to sound harsh but you will have a little being, soon, that will look to you for everything, you will be their world and you can’t even own your truth? How will you teach your son or daughter to accept themselves, their authenticity, their actions, to take accountability and for them to understand that life is what they make it?
Are you ready to have a little being? Will you raise the baby with this man? Will you continue with school or will you just work? Will you do both? You have a lot of thinking to do. Honestly, I feel that you should fill your parents in just so they can decide your next steps, but you’re an adult and you make your own choices, but your choices haven’t been that great. I’m happy that you are working to get your life back on track and to continue your schooling but it was wrong of you to lie to your family about your relationship. If you were mature, you would have owned the fact that you were in a relationship with this man and you would have never lied to your parents! But also, I’m wondering what bad things happened? They must have been pretty bad for you to say it was a disaster!
But also, you were getting your life back on track but you decided to take a detour when you found this guy? Why was this guy more important than your life, your school and the foundation you were building for yourself? My thoughts are that you were looking for love outside of yourself, this guy came along, he made you feel special, then he treated you badly, and you went back because you believe what he is offering is love and at this point in your life you would accept anything as love, even if it isn’t a love that is all accepting, gentle, kind and supportive. Of course, I don’t have all of the details on your relationship, but is there a little bit of truth in what I said?
Now I do believe you have to tell your parents! I mean they are going to figure it out soon, you will start to show. Why not get it out of the way now? And you’re not crazy, it’s just you’re looking for love in all the wrong places, outside of yourself. And in my opinion, I don’t think you getting pregnant was an accident. Deep down you believe this guy doesn’t love you so you figured having a baby would provide you with someone who will love you automatically, does sound accurate? And that won’t work! Trust me, my mom did that with myself and my siblings, and it doesn’t work. Trust me, it DOES NOT work!
You just have a lot of thinking to do. Again, I think it’s a great idea to tell your parents now, instead of later. Question, have you told the father? What was his reaction? There’s just so much to take into account when it comes to this situation. But the first step is to tell your parents and you have to go from there. I wish you all the luck in the world, and I hope everything works out well for you and your baby.