I feel so weird about my weight. Everyone mentions that I’m too skinny, and my doctor recently told me that I under eat. But I feel that I could be categorized as slightly overweight. At times, I wouldn’t mind stuffing my face and being fat, but at the same time, I want to be as skinny as a beanpole. I just want to be healthy and to love myself, but sometimes I have very self-destructive tendencies when it comes to my diet.
Why do you have to be either fat or skinny? Why can’t you just be you at a weight that you feel comfortable at? And fat is a social construct! All because a person is bigger than a certain size, doesn’t and shouldn’t mean they’re fat. And I can tell you definitely care about what others think of you and that you have a very negative skewed view of weight and food.
You said, ‘I want to be healthy and love myself at the same time’, and I can tell that your problem is your lack of self-love and self-esteem. For some reason, you believe your self-worth is tied into your weight and how society sees you. But the only person that can gauge your worth is you.
I honestly feel that your true problem is your lack of self-esteem and self-worth and that your weight problems are just a symptom to the problem. Have you thought about seeing a counselor? I raise that question because it seems that this way of thinking, that you’re defined by your appearance, size or weight, is embedded in you, and I can tell that your relationship with food isn’t great because you either under eat or consider binge eating, both options which aren’t exactly healthy.
Just know that there are ways to eat healthy balanced meals while also partaking in a slice of cake, chips, or even candy every now and again. You have to change your mentality that your worth is tied into your appearance. And you have to know that it’s okay to enjoy food. Food is amazing! It nourishes us but also allows us to partake in delectable experiences and there is nothing wrong with that.
It’s all about loving the inner you in order to love the outer you. You wish to get to a place where you love yourself no matter how you look on the outside. And once you reach that place of self-love and happiness you won’t worry about being fat or skinny. You will just focus on giving your all to yourself, by eating healthy, working out and remaining positive.