Because of my neediness and lack of self-love, I used to go to extreme lengths to please others, and I cared about what others thought of me. But now that I no longer care about the opinion of others, I have no will to suck up to others, and because of that, I am having a really hard time making friends and finding jobs. But, I can’t fake it anymore, and I don’t care about their opinions of me. But I’m not sure what to do when it comes to getting jobs and acquiring friends.
Question, now that you no longer care about the opinion of others, and have stopped people pleasing, why are you worried over making friends. If someone doesn’t accept you as you are now, why would you want anything to do with them? You’ve stopped looking for others to validate you, but have you really? Have you completely come to the point where you’re secure in yourself and are more than happy to walk alone if you have to? I think not, because you’re wondering if people will accept you for being the way you are, even though you like how you are. The right friends will come along but just focus on being your own best friend and enjoying spending time with yourself.
And in regard to jobs, do you have a job now? Do you like your job? I ask because if you don’t, you probably won’t like the next job you get if your coworkers and management don’t accept you or your personality. If you have a current job, I would stay until I found the job where my strengths would be accepted by the team and my lack of striving to please others would be an afterthought.
Honestly, don’t fake who you are and your personality to befriend others or for a job. If you were to do that you would feel as if you couldn’t be honest and truly open with those friends. And if you did get a job that way, you would never be happy and would feel horrible having to work in a position you hated. Continue doing what you’re doing, being your true self, and the perfect set of friends and job will come around. Who knows, maybe because you were your true authentic self, the universe rewarded you by putting you in a position to be your own boss, and doing something you loved while making lots of money. Don’t change for anyone. The whole world is filled with people who have done that, and they don’t seem very happy. Continue loving yourself and accepting yourself as you are and everything will work out.