I’ve fallen in love with a married man from my job. We became friends and the next thing you know, we were meeting at work every day. Things began to move fast and became pretty intense! I don’t know how to stop having feelings for him.
I know my feelings, and the situation isn’t right, but I have really strong feelings for him. We are both in complicated relationships and found comfort within each other. Now that he no longer works at my job, I miss seeing him every day. But he continues to call and text me. What can I do to get over this?
Okay, you say you don’t know how to stop the feelings, but it honestly seems as if you don’t wish too. You chose to fall for a married man, and the only outcome to that was that you would be hurt. It took a while for you to fall for this guy so it will take a while for you to fall out of love with this guy.
And you could block this guy’s number, delete or unfriend himon social media or even change your number. But like I’ve said, it doesn’t truly feel as if you wish to stop all communications with this man, let alone your feelings. It seems that you wish to continue with your affair, whether it’s physical or emotional.
Have you thought about breaking up with your significant other, stopping all communication with this other man and just focusing on you? I honestly believe that if you truly loved yourself, and I mean all of yourself, you would have broken up with your significant other, would not have put yourself in this position or have been okay with being someone’s sidepiece, someone’s second choice.
I know I keep reiterating this, but it truly feels that you wish to keep the affair going. He left the job, so you have no physical contact with him, but he continues to call, and instead of blocking his number, you receive his text and calls and I’m pretty sure that you are still communicating with him. Honestly, do what will make you the happiest, but I honestly don’t think it’s playing second fiddle to a married man. And if he truly loved you, why hasn’t he left his wife? If he truly loved himself, he would have left a relationship that didn’t make him happy and he would not have entered into this arrangement with you.
Your judgment is clouded right now because you’re looking for someone to love you. And instead of loving yourself, you chose to settle for a man that you can’t have because you believe that you’re not worthy of someone loving you unconditionally and giving their all to you. Step back from this situation, reassess who you are and what you want out of your life and then make a decision about where to go from here.