I’m married and I’ve been denied sex for the past 4 years. My wife says that she just isn’t into sex anymore, but I believe there’s more to the story, but I can’t determine if an affair is taking place, and nor will she confirm nor deny if one is. It’s so frustrating, and I feel so lonely that I make appointments with female barbers and masseurs to just feel a female’s touch. I feel so bad for myself, and I hate the situation I’m in. I don’t want to become used to the situation, but I don’t know what else to do. Should I try to reach out to my wife again?
Honestly, that is such a hard question, but an even harder situation to be in. To most people, sex is a big, important part of the relationship. But so is compromise. But ask yourself this, could you truly be happy leading a life where the only feminine contact you experience is from barbers and masseurs?
From what you wrote, you sound so dejected, depressed and unloved, and I am so sorry that you are experiencing this. It seems you’ve already spoken with your wife, and it seems that she doesn’t think of this situation as that big of a problem, but it is. To go without physical intimacy with your significant other for 3 years is astounding. And you have every reason to be suspicious of her and whether or not she is having an affair. But maybe, there might be a medical reason or psychological reason forwhy your wife isn’t into sex. Does she suffer from depression? That could be a reason why she hasn’t been into sex, but for 3 years? That seems a tad unlikely. And I know you may not wish to broach this subject, but maybe she’s fallen out of love with you. I know that may be hard to hear, but I believe you’re looking for honest answers.
At this point, it seems you’ve done everythingyou could to get to the root of the problem. It’s up to you whether you wish to move on or keep trying. And just know, there is nothing wrong with waving the white flag and surrendering. People change, relationships grow and evolve, and it’s okay for people to not grow together. And it’s okay to crave the physical touch of someone you love. If you decide to end the relationship, you are not a failure! It just means you’ve learned every lesson you were meant to learn in this chapter of your life. And if you stay, there is nothing wrong with that either. But do what will make you the happiest.