How do I accept that my mom doesn’t want me?

How do I accept that my mom doesn’t want me? She’s said that it’s probably better if she gives up custody of me and my sister. I’m in treatment for an eating disorder and it’s vital that I have a parent with me, but my mom can’t support me because of her mental health and because of her abusive relationship.

Her boyfriend is very controlling and manipulative and doesn’t let her leave his house. My dad’s not around, and my little sister, she’s only 16, lives by herself. I don’t have anyone else and I don’t know what to do or who to turn to.

Honestly, you have an extremely tough road ahead of you, but I believe you can and will complete it. And you mentioned not having anyone, but YOU HAVE YOURSELF! If you love yourself enough I believe you can overcome anything or anyone in your path. In order to accept your mom, her choices and forgive, you have to love yourself more than you hate the situation and her actions. And it’s okay to be angry, that’s one stage of grief, and you are mourning, you’re mourning the loss of your mom, or at least the relationship you’ve always wanted with her.

And your mom may bring you down on your road to recovery. You seem very mature for your age and I think that might be because you were always the parent to your mom, is that right? If so, I definitely believe that embarking upon this journey on your own will help you. But, why don’t you try reaching out to your sister? The both of you could lean on each other for support if that’s an option. Have you thought about reaching out to support groups for eating disorders? You would be able to interact with others that have experience with what you’re currently going through and they would be able to support you in this new chapter of your life.

Accepting that your mom can’t love you the way you’re supposed to be loved and can’t support you is a really hard pill to swallow. But what helped me be okay with that conclusion, was that I knew she couldn’t give me the love I deserved if she couldn’t even give it to herself. Your mom couldn’t love you or protect you because she couldn’t even love or protect herself. Look at her choice of partners, she chose him because that is all she thought she was worthy of. I believe that when one puts it into perspective like this, one can begin the process to more self-love, acceptance, and forgiveness. And I’m truly sorry that you have to experience this battle on your own, but I believe in you a 140%, and just know that I will always be rooting for you.

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