My life is falling apart, my friends and I have fallen out, and two of them blame me for not spending enough time with them, and every academic pursuit gets rejected and it seems that I’m not good enough. I feel so mediocre, tired, and spread too thin. I’ve tried to handle things calmly, but just yesterday I got rejected from the National Honor Society for being ‘non-leadership material and self-contained’, and everyone else got in! I spent forever on that application, and I don’t know what to do!
Although it may seem as if everything is falling apart, maybe it’s not! Sometimes rejections are avenues to the lives of our dreams. Maybe something better is coming around to take the place of the National Honor Society and maybe new people will be entering your life that will treat you better and accept your responsibilities more than the friends you’ve lost.
And honestly, it didn’t seem that you were too excited to join the National Honor Society. Usually, whenever we procrastinate, it’s because we dislike what we have to do or should do and it’s not something we’re passionate about. Answer me this, were you truly passionate about joining the National Honor Society? And it seems that you’re more mad that the National Honor Society Committee said you were ‘self-contained and not leadership material’. Why care what they think? No one can tell you who you are or how you are, except for yourself. Although you may not be ‘their type’ of ‘leadership material’, you’re your own type of leadership material. A leader that has no problem walking alone and that doesn’t have to belong to a group for validation. There is nothing wrong with being in the National Honor Society but there’s nothing wrong with NOT being in the National Honor Society.
When it comes to your friends, have you spoken to them about what you’re going through? Maybe if you let them in, they could see that you’re juggling a lot and under a lot of pressure. I do understand where your friends are coming from, and have they mentioned the problem to you before? Or is this the first time the topic has been brought up? But if your friends aren’t behind you 100% as you go after your goals, were they really ever for you? Sometimes in relationships, you can go a while without speaking or seeing each other, because one or both parties may be busy, but that doesn’t mean you love them any less. All parties involved just have to make a greater effort to spend time with each other. Do you think your friends would be open to a reconciliation? If so, you would just have to speak with them about how you feel and what you’re going through and how you plan to spend more time around them. But, you also have to be open to what they say and how they feel.
And you’re not mediocre, but I do think you should limit the number of activities and clubs you join and just focus on your academics. It’s okay to say ‘no, this is too much’ and ‘I have to focus on my mental and emotional health.’ But also, reach out for help! Speak to your teachers and let them know what’s going on. Reach out to your classmates and form study groups and homework hotlines, to get you through the rest of the semester. And there’s no shame in contacting a tutor for some extra help. And remember, you’re not mediocre, but in life, you won’t be perfect at everything. No one is.