I met this guy at a party, and we’ve just begun talking. I’m scared that we aren’t right for each other, but I know I’ll feel like a bad person if it doesn’t work out because I think I’ve led him on. We are completely different, he’s a ‘bad boy’ and I’m a ‘good girl’. He’s mentioned the bad things he’s done, and some of it scares me. But, I think deep down he has a soft side and he’s really nice. I’m honestly not too sure if I can be with him if he’s always getting into trouble. What do I do?
It seems you’re having second thoughts for a reason and both of you don’t seem to be on the same page. Just taking a stab in the dark, it seems you all have nothing in common and that you all are at the opposite ends of the spectrum. Maybe deep down you know it would never work out, and because you feel like you’ve led him on, you’re trying to talk yourself into dating him?
And you didn’t lead him on, maybe you were attracted to him in the beginning, but once you began to learn more about him, your feelings waned. And there is nothing wrong with that! It’s okay to change how you feel and to change your mind, you have every right to. I honestly think it’s time to abort this mission! You’ve said he’s done some things in the past that scares you, and because you’re a nice person, you’re trying to ignore all of the red flashing lights that are telling you to stop and get the heck out of there.
Your instincts and your gut are telling you what to do, but will you listen to them? It sounds as if your instincts are telling you to run in the other direction, but your head is telling you to give him a chance. Which one will you choose? It’s your choice, but don’t feel as if you have to make a certain choice because you don’t wish to feel bad or guilty for turning him down. Rejection is a part of life, learning to receive it, but also learning to give it when you’re taking care of your safety, security, mental and emotional health.