My bf just got a big promotion and decided to buy some property, which is exciting of course, but he full on expects me to move in straight away. And while there’s nothing more I’d love to do than start my life with him and play house for real, I’m only very casually employed at the moment so I can’t really afford to.
Sadly this isn’t the right time for me. I told him to find a roommate for a while until I get steadier work but he says he doesn’t want to live with anyone but me. And I totally feel the same! But this isn’t a perfect world and we have to make things work.
Honestly, I kind of wish he had waited until I could afford to buy the place with him so we wouldn’t have this problem, but the time and price were right for him so it is what it is. Anyway, he’s just hellbent on me coming straight away, and I don’t know how to make him understand that if I do, there’ll be many times I can’t help pay bills and he’ll have to do them all. Which isn’t fair.
Have you sat your boyfriend down and explained to him why you’re feeling what you’re feeling? Your boyfriend loves you and wants you to be happy, and he will accept any decision that you make.
You and your boyfriend should have a clear and honest conversation and lay everything out on the table. Your boyfriend loves you for you, and he wants to make sure that you are provided for in all ways. But I do understand where you are coming from. You like sharing the financial responsibility and making your own way in the world, and there is nothing wrong with that.
Have you thought about compromising? Instead of moving in, you could stay half the week at his new place and half the week at your current place. Just don’t feel pressured into making a decision. Go with your gut and trust your instincts. If this isn’t the right time, then it isn’t the right time, and he will have to respect that.