Is it possible to be redeemed when you’ve made a conscious choice to amount to nothing and have all but succeeded? My mind is almost gone and I’ve hurt everyone I care for because I hate myself and always have.
Yes, I believe we can redeem ourselves after we make mistakes. Just think, you put all of your energy and intentions behind not amounting to anything and you said you succeeded at that. Just imagine if you put your full force behind you succeeding. You could create a life that is full of love and one that you could enjoy.
And I don’t believe that you or your life is nothing. Maybe you are not where you wish to be in life, but you and your life have meaning and a purpose. It seems that this stage of your life taught you lessons about yourself and others. You could use those lessons and make something of yourself or do good in the world. You’re still figuring out yourself and your life and that is okay.
Don’t hate yourself! Everyone makes mistakes and makes choices that they are not too proud of. It’s okay! We have all hurt the people that are the closest to us. Instead of focusing on the past, focus on the now and the present. That is where you will create your tomorrow. Before you try reaching out to the ones you’ve wronged, try apologizing to yourself and showing compassion to yourself first. You are being very hard on yourself and showing a lot of self-hatred. Try going within and forgiving yourself for all that you’ve done but also for all the negative thoughts you’ve had about yourself. And stop critiquing yourself! You’re on a journey just like the rest of us and we all make mistakes. Get off the self-hatred bus and believe in yourself and your capabilities. I believe in you and that you can create a beautiful life for yourself. You have it in you to succeed! You just have to believe.