I’m 26 and I have abandonment issues. Whenever I make a friend, I can be friends with them for a while but eventually, they just leave me. No matter how much I try to stay in touch, they just don’t make the effort back. I haven’t kept friends from school or any jobs and it gets me down that I have no social life. It adds to the anxiety and depression that I have from years of bullying. I feel like something is wrong with me, why does no-one want to be friends with me? Is there something wrong with me?
First thing, there is nothing wrong with you. You are a beautiful, amazing being that anyone would be lucky to call their friend. All because others may not be accepting of you, doesn’t mean that you can’t be accepting of yourself.
And I am sorry that you don’t have close friendships and that you have been abandoned in the past. I can tell you are seeking forever friendships, the people that will walk with you on your journey forever, and that’s okay. And you may come across people that aren’t necessarily ready for that. Just don’t lose out on hope! You will find your tribe one day, and they will love and accept you as you are.
Now, in the meantime, why not be your own best friend? Try to love all of yourself and spend time by yourself. And when I say alone time, I mean a time where you enjoy your own company and not a time when you feel as if you are forced to be alone because you don’t have close friendships. Remember, all because you’re alone, doesn’t mean you’re lonely. That is the level of self-love and self-acceptance you should try to reach.
And you’re not alone. A lot of people feel the way you do. But you have to remember, that sometimes people were just meant to take us through something and not walk with us forever. Also, you may be attracting people that don’t or won’t accept you as you are because maybe you’re not accepting of yourself? Like attracts to like so if you focus on loving all of you and accepting all of yourself, I am positive that you will attract people that like and accept you for you.