I struggle a lot with body image. I’ve been overweight for a few years now, and my mom sometimes mentions it, but very rarely. I can tell she’s disappointed. I have to go to the doctor for a yearly checkup in about a month, and I’m very worried about my weight. I’m so scared it’s going to be super higher than last year and my mom is going to shame me for it. I know she will. I really want to lose weight, but I feel super uncomfortable talking about anything having to do with weight with anyone. Help!
I’m so sorry to hear you say that. But, the problem you’re experiencing is very common. Most women experience negative self-thought, in some form or other, when they think about their bodies. So, don’t worry, you’re not alone.
I do have a question for you though. Do you wish to lose weight for yourself, or for your mom? Think really hard about that answer. I believe you have a negative self-image because your mom sees being anything other than a size 2, as a bad thing. If your mom wasn’t disappointed in you or mentioned your weight, would you dislike the way you looked? Has your mom always mentioned your weight? Do you feel as if your mom would love you better if you were smaller? Have you ever thought, the reason you may struggle with losing weight is because you feel depressed and anxious because your mom doesn’t see you as being good enough? Your mom has a picture in her head of how she wants you to be and look. How do you wish to see yourself? That is the question that matters. You can’t live for others and expect to be happy.
When it comes to weight loss, you have to love all of you before you can shed the weight. Have you thought about working on how you see yourself before losing the weight? That will give you time to figure out if you really want to lose the weight for the right reasons. As long as you punish yourself trying to lose weight, it won’t work. You have to be in love with the person in the mirror first before you lose the pounds. I’m linking below a couple of websites that I believe may help you with your body-image and self-esteem. All of the websites have really great ways to increase your self-love and how you see yourself.
Remember, you have to live for you and love yourself. If a topic makes you uncomfortable, you do not have to speak of it. Ask your mom if she can leave the room while the doctor performs the exam. If you’re 15/16, most doctors will agree with you, the patient, to have privacy while your exam is being performed. There is nothing wrong with wanting your privacy and handling things on your own. If your mom mentions it, tell her that you have to start doing things on your own. Tell her that you’re growing up and that she won’t always be there. If she has a problem with it, that shows her lack of respect for your boundaries as a human being. Remember, the way a person responds or reacts to us has nothing to do with us and everything to do with them. Keep your head up!