I am so hurt by my ex and his actions, even though I understand why he did what he did. Our breakup was awful and so was the timing. It was really hard for my family and friends to see me deal with the aftermath of the breakup, but something is holding me back from letting go of him completely. I am still mad at how he hurt me, but I have forgiven him, and I do see that he has grown, matured and is trying. I’m so torn and I don’t wish to disrespect my family, but I know that we both want to be in each other’s lives.
Always remember that you have to live for you and not anyone else. And it’s okay that your family wants you to be happy, but just maybe, your happiness will look different than the happiness they’ve pictured for you. And I am happy that you’ve forgiven your ex, but it seems that you are still in contact with him?
Have you thought that maybe you are holding yourself back from letting go of him? Have you tried cutting off all contact completely, and then seeing how you feel? It’s okay to mourn the loss of a loved one and a relationship, and it will take time to heal. But are you giving yourself the time and the space to heal? You say you’re still hurt by what your ex has done, but that you wish to have him in your life someday, and there is nothing wrong with that. But I believe that you are still in the process of healing and that right now, you are better off without your ex and just focusing on yourself.
And you keep mentioning everyone else, and how your ex has grown, and what your family thinks, but what do you think? It seems you’re putting so much focus on everyone else and what they are doing and thinking, that maybe, you haven’t been putting that time, energy and effort into yourself? Have you thought about just taking a break from dating and focusing on yourself, and spending time with yourself? When we know all of ourselves, and love all of ourselves, we are able to make the best choices and decisions for ourselves, no matter if our loved ones agree with our decisions or not.
Ultimately it is your choice if whether or not you get back with your ex, but it seems to me that you may need time to get your thoughts and feelings together, but also to build the foundation of self-love and self-acceptance that one would need when being in a relationship, whether it’s a relationship with a significant other or family members.