I messaged about my boyfriend hitting me. And well, we broke things off and it was awful…

I messaged about my boyfriend hitting me, and well, we broke things off and it was awful. I still want him in my life but he’s now dating another girl. She seems nice and from what he’s told me, she’s had a bit of a rough time with relationships. So now I’m worried that he’ll hurt her. He’s told me that he’s only dating her to get over me, I don’t know if I should reach out to her to warn her? What if he ends up hurting her physically? It’ll then be my fault for not reaching out.

I am so happy to hear that you ended things with your boyfriend. Way to go for loving yourself enough to leave. But, it seems as if you’re experiencing a little remorse about the relationship ending. It seems to me that you value the relationship more than you value yourself. From the way you worded you ask, it seems as if the break up was more of your boyfriend’s idea than yours. Is that correct? You still want him in your life, but he abused you physically. I understand that you may have love for him, but does he have love for you? People that love you would never abuse you physically, mentally, emotionally or verbally.

And why are you continuing to talk to him? The whole purpose of the ending of the relationship was to leave an abusive situation but to also say no to the demands he was placing upon you. In order for someone to abuse you, they have to be devoid of all respect for you. If someone hits you, they definitely don’t respect you or care for your physical, mental or emotional well-being. From your previous message, you blamed yourself instead of your boyfriend. That shows me that you have been controlled and conditioned to critique yourself, not love yourself or see yourself as a worthy individual. Instead of focusing on someone else, focus on loving all of yourself.

When it comes to your ex’s new relationship and that woman, I feel that I can be completely candid with you. I honestly don’t think you wish to contact that woman out of the goodness of your heart. You still want to be with your ex, and you believe that telling his new girlfriend that information will cause her to end the relationship. You still wish to be in his orbit, even though he showed you who he really was. Honestly, what was the point of breaking up with him? If you are actually coming from the heart, you could tell his new girlfriend if you wanted too. But most likely she won’t listen to what you have to say. She would just see you as the jealous ex-girlfriend.

Ultimately you have to do what you think is best. But instead of protecting someone else, try protecting yourself. It seems that your ex-boyfriend still has a hold on you, even though he hurt you physically, mentally, and emotionally. It honestly seems as if you are going around and around in a circle. Get off the merry-go-round and love yourself.

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